Realizations...

Life isn't always a picnic, nor are relationships. Over the last few weeks I have really learned a lot. Moving out here I have gone against what I have been taught and something that I have always believed. Honestly though, I am glad I did it. I don't regret it and I wouldn't change it. I am seeing my flaws...by myself, which I think is the best way. It rarely helps for someone else to point them out. It's kind of like going on a self exploration, only I am also learning about someone else too...and life. Its hard when two people go from living on their own to intertwining their lives. It makes you realize just how independent you actually were and how stubborn and selfish you can be. Not only am I seeing my flaws, but qualities I didn't realize I had. Living with someone else you see the best and worst of each other...it really makes you stop and think sometimes.

I am not saying that everyone should move across the country to live with their boyfriend for a while, or that what I am doing is right. I am just saying that sometimes coming out of your comfort zone and expanding your boundaries can be educational. You will be surprised how much you can learn...spiritually, about yourself, about others, and about life. Maybe for you it could be something as simple as learning a new language or trying a new church or taking a job that moves you away from your family. Who knows....

Friendships...

So moving to a new place and not really knowing anyone has got me thinking a lot lately. I have been thinking a lot about myself and the people in my life. This may come out as a lot of jumbled thoughts or maybe I will pick one topic for now and write on something else later...I don't really know.

One thing that I have really thought a lot about lately are my friends. I have been thinking about the people that have come and gone in and out of my life and the people who have made an impact on me. It is crazy how one person can change you. They can make you see things in a different light. Looking back, there have been many people who helped to mold me into who I am today and help guide me into figuring out who I am. I have lost and gained many friends, made good memories as well as bad ones, and learned the lessons of life.

Lately though, I have been reevaluating my relationships. Moving away has made me realize the people who care about me the most. I have began to realize that the people I thought were there, really weren't. I can remember a conversation I had with a friend a while back about how people are your friend until it is inconvenient for them. She was talking about how when she got pregnant her large group of friends suddenly turned into just a few. It's funny how things change over time and people grow apart. It's actually really hard to deal with at times. One will argue that it's the others fault and vise versa, but the truth is that it's neither; that is just the way life works. You can't blame each other. Decide if that person really matters to you; do you want them in your life still? Then you have to try and be patient and understanding and realize that you can't expect anything out of anyone. If you do, you will just be let down. All you can do is love and try to be the best friend that you can be. (That can be hard, I know.)

All this to say, thank you to the people who have been there, the ones who have impacted me, the ones who have changed me. I'm sorry I haven't always been the best friend at times, I'm trying to work on that=)

Love you,
Heather