So today I was flying home from San Diego and what better things did I have to do than think? It started off kind of like reminiscing. I was thinking about the weekend and how much fun I had, how over the last couple of months mine and Paul's relationship has completely exploded! (in a good way) Things just seemed more comfortable and real...it was like I could feel the love. I'm not sure how much sense that makes, but it makes sense in my head! I was thinking about how I have changed and how relationships work; how love works. Which of course brought my mind to God.
I am reading the book The Shack right now. If you haven't heard of it it's a spiritual book about how a man finds God after his daughter was abducted and murdered. This book has began to open my eyes to a lot of things. One of them being relationships. In the book God explains to Mack that relationships are about two people working together. One person isn't more important than the other and no one is in charge. That is where we go wrong. We are all about control. We always have to have a person in charge and we always have to have rules. It got me to thinking about my relationship now and ones of the past. This one is obviously different, but how? Things aren't perfect by any means and we are guilty of the same things. But do you think that if we change these things our relationships will really improve? I really agree with the whole rules thing. Rules set expectations...they WILL be broken, we are human after all. I am the world's worst at rules. I have a tendency to make them up as I go...it isn't fair to my boyfriend or my friends, whomever it effects. Who are we to place limits on those we love? God doesn't place limits on us. He let's us make our own decisions. He may offer us advice, but he doesn't force anything upon us. I want to be more like God.
Which brings me to my relationship with God. I have been really thinking a lot lately about him and this book has come into my hands at the perfect time. Coincidence? Who knows! I have been having a hard time with this whole religion thing. You know...what is right and what is wrong. I have been struggling with believing that there is one way that we are all supposed to live. We are all so different. Why would God want us to do all of the same things? That is so boring. What if God doesn't have any rules? What if he just wants us to love him and trust him and let him in so that we CAN REALLY know him? I think we focus too much on what we have been told is right and wrong. I think that we judge each other too much. (I am completely guilty of that.) I just find it so hard to believe that people can actually live the life that we are taught to live when we are young. I don't think it's real. There are too many rules. I think that if we just trust Him and love Him and start a relationship with Him (like a friendship) then the rest will just happen. We will still make mistakes. We will still choose not to listen at times, but there are no rules on how to love God. There are no rules on how to praise Him or what your relationship should be like. We all have this idea that has been forced into our minds and when we don't meet those expectations we feel guilty. We feel as though we have failed. We shouldn't do some of the things we do because someone else told us that it was how it should be; because then our heart isn't in it and it means nothing. Let God be your guide. Feel the love :)
